belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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