i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
Randomize
