You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
