It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
