Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
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