She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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