Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
