im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize
