is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
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