i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
True strength comes from lack of pants
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
