My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
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