I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
