I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Randomize
