it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
