people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present