stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
27 Unforgettable Hookup Texts
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
19 Groupies Confess What It’s Really Like To Hook Up With Famous Rockstars
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.