i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".