I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
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