your thong is hanging out like whoa
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
Randomize
