i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
did i walk over a car last night?
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
