Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
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