The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Randomize
