This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
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