Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
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