He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Randomize
