I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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