i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
