i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize