Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
Randomize
