I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
This is the prime rib incident all over again
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
