i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
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