I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
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I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
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Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
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