you have to choose: penises or morals?
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
