It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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