Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
I am available for nakedness
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
