So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Randomize
