well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
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