if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
