she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Randomize
