It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
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I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
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A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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