So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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