discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
He shit in the fireplace
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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