but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
