we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
As shirtless as possible
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
Randomize
