I need to stop coming to work sober
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
Randomize
