Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
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