remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Randomize
