if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize
