Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
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