either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Randomize
