this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
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