But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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