I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
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