I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Randomize
