I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
