Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
Farmville is her only friend.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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