I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
we made out on top of his cat.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
