I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
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