I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Randomize
