Walk of Shame. In a state park.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
